Telling brothers and sisters

• Children take their cue from their parents - if you can feel positive about the new baby, they will too. It is important to explain to them as soon as possible that the new baby may learn more slowly than them to do things and may need extra care, but that with time he will learn to do everything other babies do.


• There is little reason to think that the new baby will have a bad effect on the other children’s lives. Research shows that most children get on well with their sibling with a disability, are fond of him, still enjoy their own pursuits and are not embarrassed by their friends meeting him.


• Many parents have felt that their other children become more compassionate, with more feeling for people with all kinds of disabilities, as a result of having a sibling with a disability.


• Try to integrate your baby into the family routine as quickly as possible. It is important not to restrict the rest of the family’s activities more than necessary because the baby has a disability. Take him out and about with the family - this will help them all to come to terms with the condition and will give the baby plenty of new experiences.

Telling the grandparents

• Grandparents will undoubtedly go through the same feelings as yourselves, but without being able to fill their time with the practical tasks of looking after the baby. Where possible, try to include them in doing things with and for your baby and allow them to get to know her. Grandparents and relatives or friends are always welcome to speak to someone at KDISC or to attend any meetings, workshops or support groups.

Telling friends and acquaintances

• This, too, is best done as soon as possible after the birth. Sometimes friends (and relatives) unwittingly say thoughtless and hurtful things out of embarrassment and even ignorance. They have pictured you with your ‘normal’ new baby and may have difficulty knowing how to react now that the baby is born has a disability. If you can be positive about your baby, friends will take their cue from you.

Will having a baby with a disability in the family disrupt our marriage?

• Research shows that there are no more marital difficulties experienced by parents of children with disabilities than by the rest of the population. In fact, when asked about the effect of having a child with a disability in the family, parents often say it has brought them closer together.